In the fall of 2019, I started experiencing pelvic pain.
Here’s what I would have told myself about the phrase and practice I was starting to hear about, ‘clearing my pelvic bowl’:
You’re not going to be able to bulldoze yourself through this one, love. It won’t be a check on your to-do list (I know; you love those). This will be a practice, a process, the return to a relationship. Your pelvis, your pussy, your yoni, your womb space, your pelvic bowl, your center— wants to develop a relationship with you.
Honor and Flow
You’ll want to find a word to call her that connects with you. What are you calling it now? (Anything?). Notice the tone you use when you refer to her. She can feel that too.
When you drop into your body to ‘activate’ or ‘clear’ your pelvic bowl, be really honest about where your mind is. Is it restless? Busy? A ‘let’s do this, one and done’? If so, move your body. Getting on your hands and knees and into a cat-cow flow is good. Making circles with your hips or interpretative dance is even better.
Move for a song or two. Then, after you’ve emptied, let yourself feel the afterglow of movement in your body. The buzz. The vibration. The in-the-moment reminder that you are alive.
Settle Into Your Body and Ground
You’ll want to get into a supported seated or supine position. Then, find your breath— that thing that supports you so effortlessly in every moment. Notice if it is caught in your throat. Your chest. Perhaps you’re not sure. See if you can place your hands on your belly and fill the space with your inhale. See if you can move your breath down even further into your pelvis.
Notice how you feel when you place your hands on your belly or on
Take your time. Ease into it. You’ll start to learn this as you spend more time with her; you are worth the time.
Now, imagine your attention falling from the space in-between your ears, down through your chest, your belly, to the place where your seat meets the ground. Let your attention land here, at your perineum, that space between your vulva or scrotum and your anus. Imagine that you are dropping a cord or the roots of a tree from that space. Imagine your heart dropping its own roots too, deep into the earth’s core.
Explore and Feel
Now come back up into your pelvis. Walk the perimeter of it in your mind’s eye. Start at the front, that bony joint where a zipper might be, your pubic bone. Follow it around to the left, your left hip crest. Around to the back, your sacrum or tailbone. To the right, your right hip crest. Trace a circle in your mind.
Notice what’s there. A color, a texture, a temperature, an image, a wave of emotion. Breathe into the thing, three to five times. Imagine it moving down the roots that you dropped into the earth. Do this until you feel completely empty. Imagine an element— sunlight, air or rain. Let your pelvic bowl be drenched with this element. Imagine it filling up every crevice. Let all else drain down into the earth, absorbed by the Great Mother, hungrily, willingly.
Let yourself receive what you really want
Now, let yourself fill. Place your hand on top of your womb, at the front part of your pelvis. Allow your attention to land here. Imagine drawing something up those same roots— a feeling, a quality, a relationship, a business venture. Something you want to gestate and nourish. Something you can receive. Know that you might feel uncomfortable in receiving. You’ve been ‘doing’ so much your whole life— rewarded in fact for doing. Know that this will get easier too.
Know that whatever you want, desire, or hope for— it is all possible for you. Imagine this thing being planted into the depth of your womb, your true center. Breathe into this space, three to five times. Now place a hand on your heart. Imagine the warmth of your heart shining down onto your womb with each breath— inhale, imagine your love flowing down into your womb; exhale, imagine this creation feeding your heart. Stay with this breath for a few rounds, or until you feel complete.
Be tender and celebrate
You might find some loud emotions as you explore. You might feel like they’ll take you away. But, stay with it. Breathe. If you’re feeling a strong sensation, let it out through your voice. Hum. Sing. Yell. Know that even by bringing your attention to your pelvis, you are making a shift. Remember about the bull-dozing.
Know that the wild of the ‘wild feminine’ path can feel not at all romantic and instead more disorienting at times. It can feel like its own free-fall. Know there will be times where it feels like you’re walking in the dark. Where you can see only a sliver of the moon.
In these cases, get your feet on the ground. Take your shoes off if you can. Wiggle your toes in the dirt, the grass, or at the water’s edge. Imagine the same roots of a tree dropping down from the soles of your feet, tethering you there.
Know that you’re going to worry about progress. If you’re clearing ‘enough,’ if you’re doing ‘enough,’ if you’ve ‘healed.’ That’s okay. You’ve been taught to measure progress. Still, know that it’s unfolding in its own time, and that you can rest along the way. Rest when you need.
Know that your womb feels things. So if there are things happening in the world, she’s going to feel those too. That feeling of heaviness or density isn’t all your own, and it isn’t yours to carry. Remember your roots.
Know that she has a sense of humor, your pelvic bowl. Know that she likes to play. Remember to take time to celebrate her, offering her sweet sensory pleasures as you can— the warmth of sunlight, a bath, the smell of a rose, shared laughter with friends, the touch of your own hand.
Know that she has a voice. And as you spend more time with her, as the congestion begins to clear, you’ll start to hear that too.
This is in fact the best part.
*This exercise is informed by Holistic Pelvic Care™ principles, a framework developed by Tami Lynn Kent to restore balance and energetic flow in the pelvic bowl through physical practices, organ alignment techniques, and body awareness exercises.