Romancing the Stone: Or, How to 'Get Off' With a Stone Wand

“I feel really embarrassed to ask this question! I’m very excited to purchase a Chakrub but… I don’t really know how to use it. I’ve been masturbating since my teens but it’s been the same thing every time: favorite porn, fingers, clitoral stimulation and done in a few minutes. I don’t really know how to get myself off with a stone wand. Especially if I really want to have more vaginal orgasms instead of clitoral. Any advice?”

We have become accustomed to trading in depth of experience for ease of convenience. Chakrubs feel good - whether you like the full feeling of the original thick shape or the texture of the viper - the smoothness and weight of the crystal wands are, in themselves, pleasurable. 

But if you are someone who has developed a reliance on traditional clitoral vibrators in order to climax, and you’ve found yourself in a more melancholic place of rinse & repeat for pleasure, the idea of getting your rocks off to a stone can seem like a far-fetched idea. 

And why would you want to, anyway? 

As I prepare to respond to the above customer question (with permission), I am flooded by imaginary protests like this. The customer who submitted this question notes that the desire is to have more vaginal orgasms and is disappointed in the swiftness that climax comes from their usual toolbox. 

(Tips for how to introduce a stone wand into your pleasure practice are at the end of the article. But if you’ll indulge me, I’d love to work this out a bit.)

There are many different tools and approaches to have vaginal orgasms and to switch up your routine. And if we want to discuss using a Chakrub simply as a non-vibrating toy that reaches deeply and puts the perfect amount of pressure and warms to the touch and is smooth and slippery and remains hard, we certainly can omit the element of it doubling as a metaphysical tool. 

As the creator of Chakrubs, of course I am biased. The imaginary protestors say, “wouldn’t glass or ceramic dildos achieve those same sensations?” 

I think so? I don’t know. I can’t imagine using anything but chakrubs. I don’t want to. 

But it’s not because I don’t think you can’t have a spiritual, deep, soul-affirming experience without one. Actually, what I believe Chakrubs does is enhance your ability to sensitize yourself enough to the subtle energies available to you at all times in order to feel pleasure more often. That is the point. 

See, it’s because they are crystal that they add a layer to the experience. This is a piece of the earth that is so spectacularly pretty because its molecular structure is so perfectly designed. And because of this it emits a frequency that can shift our own. 

There is no shame in wanting a quick release. There is no hierarchy of pleasure. So it is only if you find yourself questioning if there’s something more to be felt, that you owe it to yourself to follow that curiosity. 

With Chakrubs, you stop circumventing your body’s natural response to stimuli, you stop pressuring it to achieve something, and instead you offer it a pathway to develop its own. If you can learn to drop into your awareness during pleasure, so much so that you are not only feeling the physical sensation of the stone but the energy emitting from it, you begin to notice that you are the source of your pleasure. The stone is not doing it to you. It is meeting you.

The shift is not from clitoral to vaginal, not from fast to slow, but from receiving pleasure to generating it. The rinse-and-repeat feeling you might be stuck in is not a problem with your body. It is a pattern your body has learned because it works. A Chakrub asks your body to learn something else. That takes time, and the following is a way in.

1. Begin with what already works. Do not change your routine. Keep the Chakrub nearby whether it be on the bed, or on your nightstand. Let it be present without being used. Your body will register it before you do. Start to invite it within your usual routine. Keep it resting on your chest or hold it in your hand while you do what you normally do.
2. Give yourself more time than the act requires. If you usually finish in a few minutes, set aside twenty.  Building a container large enough for sensation to move through.
3. Introduce the stone at the entrance, shallowly, while you continue what you know. Keep stimulating your clitoris the way you normally would. Hold the Chakrub just inside. You are not trying to produce a new sensation. You are letting your body learn that internal contact belongs in the same moment as arousal.
4. Move inward slowly, and let the stone do less than you think it should. As sensitivity builds, you will want more depth, more pressure. Follow that, but without urgency. The Chakrub is not a vibrator. Its work is in stillness and weight. Breathe into the places it reaches. Let a single point of contact become the whole room.
5. Return attention to the body, away from the screen. If you usually rely on visual stimulation, try a session without it. Use memory, spicy audios, memories, imagination, or nothing at all. This is the hardest of the five, and the one that changes the most. Continue this practice and it becomes easier.