As with everything else, sexual attraction ebbs and flows. In the beginning of a relationship, it is often intense and insatiable, and we never want for new ideas to express our desires. We may be prioritizing the excitement over our physical pleasure, seeing intimacy more as an exhilarating journey than a destination. But as time passes and our initial excitement and flood of endorphins fade, we can begin to look at the experience of physical intimacy in new ways which make us more attuned to our authentic desires and emotional connections. Yet, amidst this evolution, we don’t always make an effort to keep the spark alive. Sometimes this happens even when we’re single, and we forget the importance of honoring our pleasure.
A stagnant sex life has the potential to throw our entire existence out of whack. We become disconnected from our desires, unable to trust, and creatively frustrated. Chakrubs are one way to meet that resistance in a non-threatening, compassionate way. Here are a few more suggestions for nourishing your pleasure center back to health:
1. Diet and Desire: The Connection Between What You Eat and How You Feel
What we put into our bodies has a direct impact on how we feel. When we eat greasy processed foods or skip meals, we often feel sluggish and bloated. Sometimes we get stuck in bad eating habits or binge drinking and don’t realize its impact on our sex lives until it’s too late.
Make sure you’re drinking plenty of mineral-rich water to keep circulation flowing and eating lots of nutrient-rich foods. You can even try eating certain color foods as a way of activating specific chakras. The sacral chakra is associated with our emotions, sensuality, and creativity, and an imbalance in this chakra can manifest as sexual frustration. One way to balance your sacral chakra is to consume orange foods such as carrots, oranges, sweet potatoes, and mangos. Including maca and cacao in my diet is one of the quickest ways I get my libido going.
2. Positive Self-talk: The Key to Inner and Outer Sensuality
We’re often our own worst critics and don’t even realize it. If you’re silently criticizing or judging yourself, it’s no wonder your body isn’t responding sexually. There’s a part of you that’s come to believe your own worst fears about yourself and it’s time to change that dialogue.
Try to reframe how you think about your flaws and appreciate your uniqueness instead. Pay attention to your inner voice and ask yourself whether you would speak to a friend in the same tone. Practice positive affirmations in the mirror to help you shift your perspective.
3. Open Communication: The Bedrock of Satisfying Intimacy
Sexual dissatisfaction can turn into resentment and ruins relationships when partners aren’t honest with each other about what’s going on. Communicate openly and compassionately to resolve issues right away, but be careful not to accuse or speak over one another.
Be present for your encounters and don’t feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to. A partner who truly cares about you won’t want you to sacrifice your personal comfort for their pleasure.
If you’re working through issues alone or not yet comfortable sharing with a partner, try keeping a journal instead.
4. Meditate and Cleanse Your Space
Sometimes the answers to our deepest questions are revealed in silence. Try to untangle yourself from the web of your thoughts and seek stillness instead. Begin by setting aside 10 or 20 minutes to meditate daily. During this time, simply observe your thoughts without judgment. You may want to practice chanting a mantra in your head. Often our racing thoughts are to blame for keeping us from enjoying the moment. Meditating will help you get reacquainted with the present so that you can surrender to your pleasure when the time comes.
Cleanse your space often to remove stagnant energy. Set an intention to invite sensual, expressive energy back into your home.
5. Move Your Body
Tension and stress get stored in the body when we don’t make a conscious effort to process our emotions. One way to release these feelings is through movement. Exercises that target the hips and lower back will be especially useful, but any physical activity will do. Try flexing your pelvic floor to bring awareness back to your pleasure center.
One benefit of regular activity is a healthy heart and improved circulation. As your body awakens, so too will your libido. Remember to give thanks to your body and all that it does for you.
6. Introduce a New Chakrubs Tool
Sometimes our sex drive wanes because we’re bored. It’s easy to fall into a routine, especially when we’re not checking in with ourselves or our partner’s needs.
If you’ve had your current Chakrub for a while or want to take your sex life to the next level, it might be time to choose a different crystal aid. Think about what qualities are lacking in your current sex life and what you’d like to enhance. Is there anything you’re having trouble working through that a specific Chakrubs could assist with? Perhaps you’re ready to explore the dark side of your sensuality with the Shadow Line. Wherever you are in your journey, Chakrubs can help you harness your sexual power and awaken to a new sense of awareness.
7. Dive Deeper with the Sacral Chakrub
Orange aventurine, the material behind the Sacral Chakrub, is believed to harmonize with our sacral chakra — the very center of our sensuality and creativity. Engaging with this stone during introspective or intimate moments can foster heightened emotional and sensual awareness. By making it a part of your self-care routine, you could potentially tap into deeper emotional currents and find clarity in your desires.
8. Explore Through Vulva-Mapping
Vulva-mapping is about more than just physical awareness; it's a journey of self-discovery. By mapping, we gain a deeper understanding of our body, pinpointing areas of heightened sensitivity or even emotional resonance. By integrating teachings from "Surrendering to the Body as Authority: A Vulva-Mapping Experience", one can cultivate an enriched relationship with oneself, discovering new paths to pleasure and emotional connection.
Feature Image by Lior Allay