Desire has a way of being inconvenient.
It doesn’t always match who we think we are, what we think we should want, or what we’re comfortable admitting.
Sometimes it surprises us. Sometimes it embarrasses us. Sometimes it brings out a version of ourselves that feels completely at odds with the one we move through the rest of the world as.
That doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong. It might just mean there’s something there worth looking at.
What We Keep in the Dark
The “shadow” is often used to describe the parts of ourselves we hide, reject, or have trouble recognizing as our own.
Pleasure has an interesting way of finding those places.
Power. Submission. Attention. Being watched. Being left alone. Taking control. Giving it up. Wanting more than we think we’re supposed to want.
Not every desire needs to become an action. But noticing what comes up without immediately judging it can tell us something about ourselves.
Why Obsidian?
Black obsidian has traditionally been associated with protection, clarity, and bringing hidden things to the surface.
It’s one reason obsidian has remained such an important stone within Chakrubs.
The Root, Xaga Curve, Xaga Slim, Viper, and Xaga Yoni Eggs each offer a different way to work with the material, from smooth and simple shapes to something more pronounced and textured.
The Viper is a little less polite than the others. Dark, reflective, and carved with a deep curve and ridged surface, it asks for attention.
But there isn’t one right shape for this kind of exploration.
Choose the one that makes you curious.
A Few Things to Ask Yourself
What do I want that surprises me?
What do I judge myself for wanting?
When does pleasure make me feel powerful?
When does it make me feel exposed?
Is there something I’ve labeled “too much” simply because I haven’t made room for it?
And what happens if, for a moment, I stop trying to explain any of it?
Sometimes the most interesting thing about desire isn’t getting what we want.
It’s finding out what was there in the first place.