I remember being young and telling my mother about a scary dream I kept having. Her solution? Change the dream. She told me that I had the ability to control my dreams and could achieve a level of awareness while I slept. She told me a story about how she was being chased in a dream, but instead of running she turned around, looked the person in the eye and told them to go away. To her surprise, they obeyed. It was in that instant that she realized she was not helpless and that we all have the ability to co-create our dreams with our subconscious while we sleep.
The good news is that lucid dreaming is easier than most of us realize. Most people have lucid dreams at least once in their lives and with dedicated practice you can begin to mold these visions.
There are two chakras that are associated with dreaming and sleeping. The first is the throat chakra, which is the first of the spiritual chakras, and associated with truth-seeking, surpassing the limits of space and time, and creative inspiration. The other is our third eye or brow chakra, which is linked to spiritual transcendence, inner guidance, and learning to see beyond the mind. Before you attempt to lucid dream, take care that both of these chakras are healthy and free from energy blockages. You have probably experienced a dream where an unresolved issue from your waking life presented itself, possibly in a way that was frightening or intimidating to you. Ensuring that your chakras are operating at full capacity will help you avoid lucid nightmares or unpleasant dream experiences.
The Indigo Chakrub is especially helpful for activating both the third eye and throat chakras. Blue aventurine open us up to higher spiritual guidance and reveals psychic and intuitive abilities that may previously have been blocked. Amethyst is also useful for lucid dreaming and has a calming quality that promotes peacefulness. As you embark on your journey to lucid dreaming, you might want to try sleeping beside one of these Chakrubs, or engaging in a self-pleasure practice before bed.
One technique for lucid dreaming is to do a third eye and/or throat chakra meditation. Begin by closing your eyes and while they’re closed look up toward your third eye chakra. You can also incorporate a silent mantra, perhaps something like, “I will know I’m dreaming.” You can involve the throat chakra by practicing yogic breathing and repeating “ah”, the seed-syllable associated with that chakra. As you begin to fall asleep, visualize that you are having a lucid dream.
Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have lucid dreams right away. You can still experience out-of-body dreams through false awakenings, which occur when you feel you have waken up from your dream, but are actually still dreaming. It is also likely that your dreams will be more vivid and feel more real. This practice has benefits similar to meditation, and will ease stress and restore calm.
Flying and sex are two popular dream motifs and it’s natural to want to explore these fantasies in a lucid dream environment. It is perhaps the only place where you can have sex without risking exposure to STDS or pregnancy. It also allows you to explore fantasies that you might not feel comfortable sharing with a partner yet. The first thing to remember when attempting to have lucid sex dreams is to be patient with yourself. It takes a lot of practice to control your dreams in general, and manifesting a sexual lucid dream will take even more skill.
The unconscious dreaming mind often has a different agenda than the thinking mind, making it difficult to initiate a sexual encounter at first. You’ve probably had a dream in the past where you were faced with your fantasy, possibly a real-life crush, only for them to disappear or change appearance once you’ve approached them. This is referred to as the “carrot on the string” and is one of the greatest self-limiting constructs in lucid dreaming. It happens when our fantasies are rooted in a physical connection instead of emotional encounters. As you begin to treat your dream figures with more respect and stop viewing them as objects, your experiences will be enriched.
Become friends with the figures in your dreams. Understand that they are manifestations of different aspects of your psyche who have their own desires and journeys to complete. Be kind in your approach, just as you would want to be approached by a potential lover. Instead of focusing only on your pleasure, try to learn their motivations and offer them a shared intimate experience.
As you might expect, sexual lucid dreams are highly arousing. It’s difficult to hold conscious lucidity through an orgasm, and beginners often wake up before the experience gets going. For this reason, it is beneficial to begin a regular lucid dream practice so that you can learn how to remain asleep even while you’re being physically excited.
Sexual lucid dreams aren’t just about getting off, they’re about going deeper to understand what drives us and help us connect those symbols with our waking life. A 2014 study found that lucid dreaming can enhance decision-making and problem-solving abilities, increase creativity, and help us think “outside of the box.” Practice often (after all, you sleep every day!) and you’ll soon witness these benefits for yourself.
For additional reading:
How to Maintain Dream Control (and Why You Sometimes Shouldn’t)
How to Have Lucid Sex Dreams That Fulfill Your Kinkiest Desires
Erotic Lucid Dreaming: Exploring Sex & Spirit
Those Who Know They’re Dreaming Tend to Be Savvier When Awake
Feature Image by Mika Lovely