For all the love—with self or partner—the choice is yours
Self-love and self-care come in many forms. From “treating yourself,” to establishing daily routines and rituals to manage anxiety or get you through the day. We’ve seen it all at this point. The issue with that form of self-care as self-love? It starts to lose its intention and authenticity. While taking a bath with a glass of wine and a podcast to recover from the day is lovely–the sacred love for yourself often gets lost in the motions. Whether you’re single or partnered, I encourage you to reclaim the sacredness that is love.
A beautiful, intimate, mindful way to do that is with sex magic.
First, let’s talk about what sex magic really is, because different definitions of the term definitely float around. I define it as sets of juicy, dreamy, and totally magnetic intention-setting rituals that are brought to life through pleasure and *perhaps, but not necessarily* orgasm.
Second, the environment matters. Set the scene for yourself or your partner. Dim the lights, turn on the music, light a candle or diffuse your favorite scent. Playing with the senses heightens all experiences.
Now, onto the actual ritual.
What you will need:
- a piece of paper
- a pen (preferably in a color that fits your mood)
- a crystal
- optional: a Chakrub
+ optional: a partner
How To Create A Love-Infused Sex Magic Ritual:
Set an intention. To enhance the manifestation behind the act, I suggest writing it down (use the paper and pen) and phrase it as though it’s already happened. Say, for instance, you want to experience more self-love. The intention to write and set is “I love you
Craft three mantras. You will come back to these as you start touching your body (don’t worry, we will get there shortly). Think of these mantras as the pillars that hold up your intention. In keeping with our example, mantras would look something like: “I am love” // “My
Bring in your crystal. In an ideal world, the crystal used in this session relates back to your intention or the heart chakra. The heart chakra is represented by green, but rose quartz is a great option for expanding love, healing, and bringing up feelings in the heart space. That said, I believe you can make whatever crystal you have on hand work for you—you just have to tell it what to do. Cleanse it with some Palo Santo (smokey counterclockwise circles around the crystal work wonderfully) and then out loud, tell your crystal what its duty is. Ex: “You are to hold space for the self love that will be coming in.” You can have a full-on conversation with the crystal, in fact, I recommend it. If you are also incorporating a Chakrub in your ritual, I highly encourage cleansing and charging it alongside the crystal.
Begin touching yourself. Move slowly. Experiment with long vs. short strokes, light vs. firmer touch. Take your time. Bring awareness to each motion. Try not to think. Follow the pleasure. Allow yourself to get lost in it. And if you’re not lost in it, that’s okay too. The point? Keep exploring and building sensation. That sensation will lead to heat. If you are using a Chakrub, invite it into the ritual. I suggest The Heart – Slim for this particular one. If you are creating a ritual with a partner, begin touching each other instead of self (Or go mutual masturbation style— whatever feels right in the moment).
Come back to your mantras. As soon as you feel the heat building in your body, bring in the mantras. Recite them mentally or aloud. Feel the frequency of each of them. Notice the different vibrations they make. Notice if you want to spend more time on one vs. another. Notice where the vibration is hitting in your body. Bring awareness to the practice. If you are creating a ritual with a partner, it could feel powerful to call the mantras out back and forth as the heat builds in addition to pleasurable noises and moans.
Release (or ride the pleasure wave). Listen to your body. As you feel yourself reaching an arc, if you’re on your back, I invite you to bring the crystal to your heart space (if not, no worries, make this ritual work for you). If you’re a visual person, feel free to place the intention card underneath the crystal on your chest. Come back to your intention as you climax, or reach intensity in a pleasure arc. Send the energy out through your heart chakra and into the crystal. If you are creating a ritual with a partner, instead look your partner in the eye and silently send your intention out to them while you open your heart to receive theirs.
Relish in what you created. Feel the energy disperse throughout your body. Notice any sensations or thoughts that may be bubbling up. Take note of them, let them pass, and let your mind and body settle into love. If you are creating a ritual with a partner, be with each other. I encourage you to verbalize any felt energy if you’re called or simply soak in the love that’s been built between the two of you.
No two rituals are ever alike. Make alterations as needed to best support your body, mind, and spirit that day. If you happen to be creating a solo ritual, I invite you to gift the love-infused crystal that is now in your possession to a loved one or to your future self as a reminder of the beauty and love you created.