Introduction from the Author:
The excerpts shared below are from my debut personal essay, Visiting Hours, that is published on my writing platform, The Expansion Realm. These excerpts depict why I chose Chakrubs to create a self- pleasure ritual after experiencing sexual trauma. I found myself in an extremely vulnerable and fragile state that left me timid and reluctant to touch any part of me intimately. When I realized this, I realized that shame from trauma had flooded me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was paralyzed from intimate betrayal, but I was determined to build myself up with truth and magic. I placed the highest intention into restoring intimacy with myself, knowing that although I was healing what I was left with after sexual trauma, I would also be doing the work to clear generational trauma that had been eager to be revealed. Choosing a self- pleasure ritual with Chakrubs allowed me to feel again, and it invited what had been hidden and unseen within me to come up so that I could let it go through orgasm.
I use visiting hours as a motif to allude to multiple events throughout my essay. It alludes to the times when I visited myself in self- pleasure with my Chakrubs, to the times when depression has visited me after sexual trauma, and to the time I was gifted a visit from an ancestor who gave me a cryptic message when I needed it most. I believe that message was the foreshadow to you reading this now, in this moment.
Visiting Hours is the culmination of my experiences with sexual trauma, generational trauma, depression, magic, mysticism, self- pleasure healing with Chakrubs, psychics, spirituality, and the hidden and unseen. These themes all exist in my healing.
To read my full personal essay, Visiting Hours, visit my website below:
I’ve always believed in my sexual power whether coupled or alone, and I knew that there was something special on the other side of creating and committing to an intentional self- pleasure ritual. I wanted healing in this way, and I wanted to use what I knew could be powerful tools for restoring intimacy with myself, with truth and magic. I bought my first Chakrub in 2020. The rose quartz crystal for my cracked heart was the pairing I believed in.
Receiving, unwrapping, cleansing, and charging my rose quartz Chakrub was the start to deep practice. It was beautiful and it was meant to shine its beauty in me with my own set of intentions. I was in charge and in power of what my Chakrub emulated with each Moon bath it took.
My rose quartz Chakrub made its space known in my bed. I wanted it to live under my pillow to infuse my dreams with love. I wanted to be surrounded by love while I was building up my self- love, and I needed all the mystical help I could get. I could reach back when I was ready and assess my body with my Chakrub. I could give myself that safe space that I needed with consent and begin to restore what was taken from me. After beginning my practice, I began to release what had been stored inside me in secrecy and shame. It was as if Pandora’s Box was opened, and all the evils of the world flew out; and the evils of the world that were stored inside me revealed themselves as my shadows, and the shadows of others. I had a powerful orgasm that released “Love, Respect, Body Acceptance, Protection, and Safety” from out of my mouth, my heart, and my sacral. My rose quartz Chakrub would then be charged under the Moon with that truth, and it would power the glow and movement of my amber sacral wheel from there on.
My Chakrub collection began to grow once I grounded my self- pleasure practice. I was growing with love and prophetic knowledge from my practice because what I was gaining was not just clarity on my shadows and how to repair, it was my answer to why I was placed in my timeline. When you release what they dare you not to question, you release generations of fears, truths, and evils. When you take on the power to commit to the work, you realize that the evils aren’t so evil after all because they don’t amount to your power; and no one in your timeline before you knew they could release and destroy all that weighed them heavy, so it never had to haunt us again.
Me and my rose quartz Chakrub lit up my light that was put out by you. Full and dripping with love, my love stone did what it was supposed to do and slowly powered my sacral wheel. The natural pink power invited me to glow amber again.
Author: Natalie Cox
Full article: www.theexpansionrealm.com/writing/visitinghours