It’s funny to think that just a few years ago, our options for sex toys were primarily limited to brightly colored silicone or plastic objects, many of them battery-operated and phallic-shaped. For men, the options were also woefully constrained, revolving around pumps that promised to increase size and flashlights with compact vaginas inside, as though the essence of our genitalia could be condensed into a tube. While these options might have gotten us off, they often resulted in shallow experiences, ones that would leave me feeling almost ashamed and confused by the unnatural rise and fall of my sexual response cycle. They produced powerful orgasms, but made it more difficult for me to reach climax with my real-life partners. As I sought to unravel my evolving desires or moving beyond the trauma of past experiences, I found their capabilities lacking.
It wasn’t until I received my obsidian Chakrub — the Xaga Curve — that I learned that sexual experiences could be informative, ground-breaking, and even religious. I didn’t immediately toss my vibrator in the trash, but I began to notice a trend in how I approached my different toys. My vibrator was great for a quick release, but the Xaga demanded I show up and be present. I learned to be more patient with myself, to take the time to turn myself on instead of forcing an automatic response.
The fact that my Chakrub was carved from a mother stone and never used before me allowed us to form a special bond. At first the energy that seemed to emit from it was almost too strong to handle, and instead of using it as a pleasure tool, I would sleep beside it, inviting it to orchestrate my dreams. During these nights I would find myself visited by ancestors and previous partners. My subconscious would rewrite endings to old stories, encouraging me to release old burdens and wounds.
The daily wearing of my Carnelian yoni egg helped me be intentional about what type of pleasure I was inviting into my life and over time, increased my sex drive. When I began solo traveling in Mexico, it helped me ground into the present and provided a sense of familiarity as I navigated new lands.
Chakrubs put the power of pleasure back in my hands. I no longer felt infantilized, as I had with my bright purple vibrator that seemed to do the work for me. I learned that a host of sexual experiences were available to me, and that I could pick and choose according to my mood. The fact that my Chakrub was not specifically shaped like a penis allowed me to unpack some of my past traumas. I was able to let go of internalized messages and establish personal guidelines for how to honor my sexuality.
In a world that is slowly learning how to accommodate ever-growing expressions of sexuality and gender, Chakrubs is no less than revolutionary. The brand boldly moves away from the previous model of attempting to mimic male and female private parts, and encourages every type of person with every type of body to experiment with what feels good to them. It challenges our notions of taboo and affirms that no matter how outlandish our fetishes might be, there is nothing wrong with exploring where they might lead.
Photos by Rachel Cuccia