From a young age, many of us have been indirectly or directly taught to associate feelings of shame with self-pleasure. This often stems from generations of societal norms and taboos that stigmatize open discussions about sexual pleasure. However, it's time we break this pattern of shame and foster healthier dialogues.
For Those Shamed by Their Parents
Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings
Acknowledging your feelings is the first step towards healing. If your parent shamed you for self-pleasure, it's likely that you've internalized some of that shame. It's essential to recognize these feelings and understand they're based on outdated beliefs, not truths about your worth or morality.
Step 2: Open a Dialogue
Starting a conversation about this topic may seem daunting, but it can be a healing process. A gentle opener could be something like, "Have you heard about Chakrubs?" This question opens the door to discussing the healing aspects of self-pleasure, which can reshape the narrative around this topic.
For Parents: Speaking to Your Children About Self-Pleasure
Step 1: Educate Yourself
Before engaging in a conversation about self-pleasure with your child, it's important to educate yourself about the subject. Understand the benefits of self-pleasure - such as stress relief, better sleep, and self-love.
Step 2: Create a Safe Space
When you're ready to have the conversation, ensure you create a safe, non-judgmental space. Let your child know that they can be open and honest without fear of being shamed or judged.
For Children: Speaking to Parents
Step 1: Understand Their Perspective
Before you engage in a conversation with your parent, understand that their perspective is likely influenced by their upbringing and societal norms. Be patient and remember that they might not have the same understanding or comfort level around the topic.
Step 2: Initiate the Conversation
Start the conversation with a neutral topic related to sexuality, like a new book you've read or a documentary you've watched. You could ask them something like, "What were you taught about self-pleasure when you were growing up?" This can open up a dialogue about their experiences and perceptions.
Breaking the pattern of shame involves honest, open conversations. It's about creating a space where sexual pleasure is seen as a normal, healthy part of life. We each have the power to redefine the narrative around self-pleasure, fostering a healthier perspective for ourselves and future generations.